Jokes
Very busy today - have a meeting at 9am. So I’ll leave you guys with some jokes.
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What’s the difference between a catfish and a lawyer?
One’s a bottom-dwelling scum sucker and the other’s just a fish.
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Don’t LOOK at anything in a physics lab.
Don’t TASTE anything in a chemistry lab.
Don’t SMELL anything in a biology lab.
Don’t TOUCH anything in a medical lab.
and, most importantly:
Don’t LISTEN to anything in a philosophy department.
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A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.
She replies in a huff, “I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!”
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The National Transportation Safety Board recently divulged they had covertly funded a project with the US auto makers for the past five years, whereby the auto makers were installing black boxes in four-wheel drive pickup trucks in an effort to determine, in fatal accidents, the circumstances in the last 15 seconds before the crash.
They were surprised to find in 49 of the 50 states the last words of drivers in 61.2 percent of fatal crashes were,
“Oh, Shit!”
Only the state of Alabama was different, where 89.3 percent of the final words were:
“Hold my beer and watch this!”
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and last but not least..
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common.
They should both be changed regularly … and for the same reason.
