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Sexual Calorie Counter

Ever wonder how much calories you burned when making out? Well here’s a chart to help you.

sexual activity calorie counter

So for maximum burn, follow these steps:

  1. Remove her clothes without her consent
  2. Open her bra with your teeth
  3. Put a condom without an erection
  4. Find her G-spot
  5. Do the Italian chandelier (huh?)
  6. Fake orgasm
  7. Get out of bed immediately and make excuses for it
  8. Get a second erection
  9. Put on your clothes only when your wife is at the door

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  1. Meidoco says:

    Seriously, I need to laugh out loud on the two last factors.

    Anyway, is there really such position as Italian Chandelier…?

    ..uh okay, just made some googling… the position looks painfully absurd..


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