A collection of recent news concerning thieves.

the unfit thief : A thief who couldn’t outrun the police in Manila, asked for time-out so that he could catch his breath.

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Philippine police chased down an unfit thief on Tuesday after he ran out of breath and asked his pursuers for a ‘time out.’ …. The robber asked for a ‘time out’ using hand signals.

Moral of the story - you NEED to exercise, just enough to outrun your local police.

Link : Fleeing thief requests time out, gets time inside instead


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the spidey : a thief donning a spiderman’s mask stole an undisclosed amounts of the opiate Oxycontin from a pharmacy. The drug is a controlled-release form of oxycodone prescribed to treat chronic pain. When used properly, OxyContin can provide pain relief for up to 12 hours.

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Police say it will be hard to identify the robber, as the Spider-Man mask meant that no eyewitnesses got a got look at his secret identity.

Moral of the story : Spidey feels pain too. He’s not immortal.

Link : Thief does whatever a spider can

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the gamblers : a pair of thieves went back to the shop which they’ve successfully robbed earlier to settle a bet againts each other that the shop had CCTV cameras.

We made a bet about whether the shop had a security camera, and decided to go back and check. We agreed that the loser had to treat the other to karaoke,’ said the 21-year-old thief.

Moral of the story : Don’t do theft and gambling at the same time.

Link : Thieves in CCTV bet idiocy

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the hypothermic : a car thief running from the police thought he had ninja skills by hiding in a lake and having only his nose above the water. Of course the police caught him.

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When they finally spotted him and told him to come out, he was so cold that he needed first aid.

Moral of the story : Pay attention in ninja class! He would’ve known that real ninjas use straws or bamboo to breathe under water.

Link : Cold, wet car thief caught